PO Box 688 Coffs Harbour NSW 2450 Australia
Email: info@wendyhaynes.com
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I love my work and have been passionate about celebrancy since I was appointed in 1995. 
more about WendyI was in Lathkill Dale, a long valley that has lots of natural water holes springing from caves underground. I stopped to do some yoga by the river on a lush green mossy area. Sitting afterwards on the stone steps leading out of the valley, all was quiet. Two gentlemen came along the path on the other side of the bank, one with a gun wrapped in a nice leather bag. I wondered what they were up to when I noticed a Jack Russell Terrier dart out a little further up the hill. I was going to be witness to hunt! Not quite my cup of tea, but that is where I found myself. I started to walk up the cliff side to move up onto the upper path, when I heard a dog bark and out flew three pheasants, beautiful in flight, which were shot dead plummeting to the ground with each successive shot. Then I noticed about eight other men dressed in tweed suits walking along the upper area with about half a dozen dogs. They were banging walking sticks on the ground as they came closer to the gunman. Seven pheasants were bagged.
I met this little old couple who worked in a haberdashery shop in Chesterfield. The shop was musty and small but packed high to the rafters with every conceivable bit of lace, cotton, buttons and thread you could every need. Zippers were hanging from hooks by the till and padding was stuffed into plastic bags that looked like they would pop.
I asked the old gentleman, who had the kindest face, if he had any wool, to which he replied he hadn’t however if I were to go… and he gave me the directions to a craft shop nearby. One of his directions, he said, would take me past the fish and chip shop, at which point he paused, rubbed his tummy with both hands and with the biggest smile and broadest English accent, told me it used to be the best fish and chip shop in the area when he was younger.
For an instant I was transfixed on this beautiful gentleman and didn’t want his storytelling to end. There were other customers and he came back from his reverie so I moved out but I was deeply touched by the time standing still as we was taken back to that obviously most pleasant memory of days gone by.
I met this little old couple who worked in a haberdashery shop in Chesterfield.
The shop was musty and small but packed high to the rafters with every conceivable bit of lace, cotton, buttons and thread you could every need. Zippers were hanging from hooks by the till and padding was stuffed into plastic bags that looked like they would pop.
I asked the old gentleman, who had the kindest face, if he had any wool, to which he replied he hadn’t however if I were to go… and he gave me the directions to a craft shop nearby. One of his directions, he said, would take me past the fish and chip shop, at which point he paused, rubbed his tummy with both hands and with the biggest smile and broadest English accent, told me it used to be the best fish and chip shop in the area when he was younger. In that moment I was transfixed on this beautiful gentleman and didn’t want his storytelling to end.
There were other customers and he came back from his reverie so I moved out but I was deeply touched by the time standing still as we was taken back to that obviously most pleasant memory of days gone by.
We watched the award winning Japanese movie called Departures while we were in New Zealand.
A young Japanese cello player, who finds himself out of work, answers an advertisement for a job which he thinks is for a travel agency only to find it is working for a company that prepares dead bodies for burial – otherwise known as ‘casket dressing’.
It was a gentle movie with a powerful insight into a very special ritual performed after death. The warmth, humour and sensitivity of the subject were beautifully portrayed. The handling of the body and the ritual cleansing and dressing of the deceased was encouraging to witness. It was a movie that touched and inspired me. I certainly would have made mention of the ritual in my lastest book on funerals if I had seen the movie while I was writing it…definitely a must for the second edition.
There are so many changes to deal with when on the road. From the different cultures, food, currencies and … beds. There are uncertainties and situations that have happened beyond our control us on unexpected journeys both inner and outer.
One of the constants of travelling that have provided stability in our daily changes and challenges is Roger and my little rituals that we love and enjoy. Each morning when we wake we do our yoga and then share a greeting with one another. It is simple but it holds our focus before we step out into the day.
Facing each other we hold our hands in prayer position with our thumbs touching our chest, giving thanks for the divinity that is present in each of us. This position in yoga is often held while saying the Sanskrit word, ‘Namaste’ which means, ‘I salute the Divine God in you’. We then mirror a few yoga moves that open us to the vastness of the heavens (activating our insight and ability to communicate) We move our hands out to face each other with open hearts and extending our love while saying, ‘May all our thoughts, words and actions spring from the peace and harmony that is who we are’. After three rounds of doing this, we finish with our hands in prayer position once again… and smile!
This simple ritual works for us in that it reminds us of the beauty of each other. We know how easy it can be to take each other for granted and this gesture reminds us of the sacredness of our relationship. After all these years, I still love Roger so much and want to encourage this expression every day. Travelling and spending 24/7 with each other is enriching our friendship and communication every day – even when it seems hard.
Yoga by the lake in Wales
People often ask how Roger and I met but that is a story for another day. Maybe Valentine’s Day! There is however, a description of our celebration ceremony which we held earlier this year that can be found starting on page 11 of the ‘Ceremonies for the Renewal of Vows’ e-book available here.
While in Canada staying with our friends we were talking about a friend’s death and one of the ladies shared that her brother had put together an audiovisual recording before he died.
In this homemade movie he said goodbye to his nearest and dearest. She said it wasn’t always easy to watch but she said her brother had made it lots of fun so there was lots of laughter alongside the tears.
The young man focused on each of the family members and a few key friends expressing his gratitude for particular things that he loved and appreciated about each person. He finished with a goodbye message to everyone. I got goosebumps when I heard her talk about it.
Taking time to give thanks and let people know how much we love them is so important… especially before we die.
As a person who doesn’t drink tea or coffee I am intrigued by the ritual of making a cup of tea that most people enjoy. My friend, Ginnie and I visited a little town called Enderby in BC and I discovered a quaint little shop called Mimi's Tea Shop and Cafe.
Opening the door I stepped into a large café that was a blend of Chinese and French decorations. The paintings on the wall were like I had seen in the Parisian Cafes, bright images portraying life in the country side. The tables were set with random tablecloths with mismatching chairs. Each table had a sugar pot and a vase with flowers. On the right, immediately as you walked in, there were many clear glass containers with every conceivable type of tea making it look like a Chinese herbal store or an apothecary. It was intriguing and reminded me of the old general stores from years past.
The teapots were standing pert on a large table nearby – they came in every shape, colour and size. Seeing them there in all their glory made me smile.
The teacups were what caught my fancy – mugs and cups and dainty chinaware. Each came with its own saucer and spoon.
I was saying to Charlene, a friend in Bristol who we stayed with, why I loved her so.She smiled and asked me why.
I held her hands and honoured my meetings with her which are always so refreshing, insightful, honest, life affirming, intense, full of laughter and depth.
I love the openness with which she welcomes Roger and myself into her home.
I love sharing a meal with her and the many conversations which have meaning and reveal passion about family, life and work. I love her smile and her eyes that shine with life and love.
I feel blessed to have her as a heartfelt friend on this journey of life.
During my stay with my two granddaughters I had fun in the kitchen with the eldest, Isabel, who is aged 4.
My joy cannot be measured as we cooked together. It was a combination of her delight at telling me which recipe we were going to use (which was not the one she insisted I write down as we watched a children’s cooking show on DVD… no it was going to be ‘Mummy’s banana cake recipe!’) , her enthusiasm and interest, her focus at cracking the eggs without a single piece of shell going into the mix and the smile she beamed as she got to lick the bowl.
I loved supporting her to weigh and measure the ingredients adding more information about what the eggs will do to the flour, why we put in the vanilla essence, why we grease the cake tin. There is a saying that goes, ‘if you want to teach a man to build a boat first you have to teach him to love to sail’. We had a lot of fun in the kitchen (even if she hadn’t quite the same enthusiasm for washing all the bowls!) and the cake tasted delicious!
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