Inspiration & Expert Advice to Help You Create Your Own Wedding Ceremony!

I was invited to conduct a handfasting ceremony on a beautiful property at Dorrigo, in northern NSW.  The garden, where the ceremony was held, was a maze of pathways that were an invitation to wander through the terraced beds of flowers and shrubs down to a cleared area which overlooked the lush, green hills. In the northern corner stood a big oak tree which had seen many family occasions. It was gnarled and beautiful and was decorated with a big yellow ribbon around its huge trunk. 

Many of you would remember the song, Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree, made famous in the seventies - the lyrics date back four centuries! The yellow ribbon around the trunk of an oak tree symbolised the promise of a young girl being true to her man. At this ceremony I attended, the yellow ribbon tied around their oak tree symbolised the couple's loyalty to each other as they had endured many months apart while the groom was working interstate. There are many rituals that have lasted centuries that symbolise a couples love and commitment. 

The handfasting ceremony dates back to the time of the ancient Celts. It was used to acknowledge the beginning of a trial period of a year and a day during which time a couple were literally bound together - hand fasted. It was however a temporary agreement which could be made permanent, after the trial period, if both parties agreed. 

The couple from Dorrigo pledged their love to each other with ribbons being wrapped around their hands with each promise.

A Lifetime Commitment

Nowadays, the handfasting ceremony is only used symbolically as marriage, according to the law in Australia, is a lifetime commitment. The bride and groom’s hands are joined together, usually holding hands so the wrists and pulses are touching, with a ribbon or symbolic material looped over the bride and groom’s wrists and tied by the celebrant or a friend.  Some, like the sample ceremony below, loop the ribbon six times. 

Ensure that the ribbon is the right length - I recommend a rehearsal so that everyone is familiar with the ritual before the ceremony day. 

The words spoken usually express that the couple are bound by their love and commitment for one another and like the cord, which has two individual ends, they are two individuals. Yet, in essence, they are one. 

The bride and groom usually remain joined by the looped ribbon until after the marriage vow - not for a year and a day! The final tie being done loosely so the ribbon can be removed easily while remaining tied.

As the celebrant ensure you are standing so all the guests can see the ceremony. You may also wish to explain the ritual and its history before starting. People love to know what is going on. 

You can use just one long cord or ribbon that is looped over the joined hands at each asking or you can use a separate cord or ribbon for each question, and then tie them all as one when the asking is complete. Make sure there is plenty of time to really allow the couple to hear the questions that are being asked of them.

Handfasting Ceremony by Wendy Haynes