Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I was saying to Charlene, a friend in Bristol who we stayed with, why I loved her so.She smiled and asked me why.

I held her hands and honoured my meetings with her which are always so refreshing, insightful, honest, life affirming, intense, full of laughter and depth.

I love the openness with which she welcomes Roger and myself into her home.

I love sharing a meal with her and the many conversations which have meaning and reveal passion about family, life and work. I love her smile and her eyes that shine with life and love.

I feel blessed to have her as a heartfelt friend on this journey of life.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

During my stay with my two granddaughters I had fun in the kitchen with the eldest, Isabel, who is aged 4.

My joy cannot be measured as we cooked together. It was a combination of her delight at telling me which recipe we were going to use (which was not the one she insisted I write down as we watched a children’s cooking show on DVD… no it was going to be ‘Mummy’s banana cake recipe!’) , her enthusiasm and interest, her focus at cracking the eggs without a single piece of shell going into the mix and the smile she beamed as she got to lick the bowl.

I loved supporting her to weigh and measure the ingredients adding more information about what the eggs will do to the flour, why we put in the vanilla essence, why we grease the cake tin. There is a saying that goes, ‘if you want to teach a man to build a boat first you have to teach him to love to sail’.  We had a lot of fun in the kitchen (even if she hadn’t quite the same enthusiasm for washing all the bowls!) and the cake tasted delicious!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

I met a lovely lady while I was in Bristol who spends three months of the year living with her son and his family in India and the other nine months of the year on her property in Portugal with her husband. She was talking about a friend who had died ten years ago. Recently, on the tenth anniversary of his death many of his friends and family responded to the following questions (using the internet as the place of sharing since everyone was far and wide across the planet)

 What has he missed not being here for the last ten years? And, what would he have loved?  What do we love and remember about him?

She said it was a beautiful insight into her friend and the memory of him. I was touched by the way she spoke of him and connected him to things that were current in her life. Here’s to remembering and speaking of our friends long gone. In my latest book on funerals there are lots more ideas for memorial services. Click here for more info

Wednesday, January 20, 2010 Well, here we are in a quaint little cottage in Monyash, a double story brick building that dates back a few hundred years. The front door opens and you almost trip up the stairs which leads to the two bedrooms which are big enough to do a little bit of yoga in ? I touch the ceiling when I reach overhead.

Downstairs in the lounge there are scenes of the countryside in watercolours on every wall matched with a few small plates that come from a different era. The brass ornaments stand out on the bright red carpet which swirls with designs. The electric heater poses as a coal fire and invites me to rub my hands in front of it.

I love being here, it is our home for two months, and again for a month in April, and we will come here in September and October. After moving around for the last seven weeks it is great to have a base that is snug and quiet.

Yesterday we bought a campervan to further our travels around the area come March and then in Europe come June through to August. It is a sturdy Toyota Hiace with a pop up roof. Just right for Roger and Wendy to have an adventure.

We did buy a little Peugeot in London which has been fabulous for getting us around (we will now sell this when we stock our van) It runs really well on these small and winding roads (which all lead to Bakewell (our nearest little town).

It has been an interesting time, this life on the road, and we are both in need of replenishing the batteries. A few good nights sleep will see us right.

We had a lovely time in Bristol with Jess and Julian and our granddaughter's Isabel and Rosa. Rosa adored Roger following him around with a book to read wherever he went. Isabel and I had fun in the kitchen baking a cake.

On Sunday we celebrated Rosa's naming day at Ashton Court. There were plans to head down to Dorset, where Julian's family own a field that has a long history of cider making. They had planted trees on it for Isabel?s naming day a few years ago. However, with the cold snap that has hit the UK the nursery called saying that they couldn?t dig the fruit trees out for us to plant. With this, and the concern that it would be too dangerous for us to drive down with the ice and snow on the road, and the fact that they had seven young children (including a seven week old) baby that they didn't want standing around in a freezing cold paddock, they opted to stay in Bristol and plan a different ceremony.

I loved watching the ceremony unfold organically given the situation they found themselves in. I suggested that we plant a branch as a symbol of the fruit trees that would now be planted in a months time. I thought it would then be lovely to paint some paper apples and pears to hang on the tree with blessings for Rosa written on them. Isabel, Jess and I had great fun making these.

On the day there were ten adults and seven children present. It was a clear blue sky with a fresh breeze blowing (given the weather in the past few days this was fabulous!) We found a little shrub that passed as our symbolic apple tree and gathered around. Julian welcomed and thanked everyone especially the three godparents. The children then ate the three apples that we bought while Jess read out a summary of Rosa's birth story which brought tears to her eyes. It was lovely to hear her story and remember the joy and gratitude they felt for her safe arrival and the beginning of their family as four.

The apple cores were given to each of the godparents and they planted the apple core and seeds while speaking a blessing to Rosa. It was lovely.

To close we finished with an old wassailing tradition which is a old Christian/pagan ritual to enhance the fertility of the orchards and offer blessings for the year to come. Old cider was poured around our tree and then everyone was then given an 'apple' to hang on the tree and the opportunity to add their blessing. It was fun especially for the children. To close the children were given musical instruments to play: shakers to rattle and whistles to blow. It made everyone laugh and it was only later that I wondered what the people down the hill must have thought of us!

We headed down to Bristol Harbour to the Grain Barge, a floating restaurant for lunch, were the fun continued.

It was a lovely week with Jess and her family and we will see them again soon. The next five weeks Roger will be spending time with his two sons in the Derby area.

Today Roger and I had fun walking around the Chatsworth area. Rolling hills and duck ponds, the river Wye and Derwent tumbling past. The crisp air is refreshing and gives our cheeks a healthy glow. A hot bath at night in the cottage tops off the day.

I am not settled for long as I head up to the Dru Yoga International Centre in Wales tomorrow to volunteer my time and catch up with a few friends from Australia. I am then off to Devon at the end of next week for a two week silent retreat in a Buddhist Centre, Gaia House. I am looking forward to that time to reflect upon stillness and in return for being there I will work in the mornings which I am more than happy to offer service.

Thursday, January 14, 2010 When I was writing about downhill skiing and experiencing 'no fear' I was reminded of a firewalking ceremony that I lucky enough to participate in.

It was Carol's housewarming party up at a rural property behind Coffs Harbour. Everyone brought a plate to share and we had a beautiful dinner. There was the exchanging of gifts and then music around a large roaring bonfire. The night was cool and starry. The fire blazed for a few hours. As the night was coming to a close Roger and David raked the coals out to form a large three metre by one metre bed of hot red and black coals. The glow was captivating.

Roger and David suggested that they close the evening with a firewalking ceremony. A few people who had done it before thought this was a great way to end the party. I was intrigued and very happy to see it unfold.

They started with a short meditation focusing on personal integrity and the power of the mind. They invited people to think of a quality that they wanted to affirm in their life and those that wanted to 'walk the fire' and 'walk the talk'. I only remember Roger doing the walk although I know there were others. Roger then asked if I wanted to. I said I wasn't sure as I didn't want to burn the soles of my feet! (Wisely practical!)

Roger assured me that if I believed I could do it and entered the walk with a sense of conviction I would be ok. I trusted Roger and asked him to stand at the end of the walk and we held each others gaze and the focus was set. I walked across the hot coals.

All I remember thinking was,  'I can do this', and sure enough that night, I walked the hot coals twice. The first time with a heightened sense of alertness and intensity, the second time, just because I was elated and wanted to do it again.

It offered me an depth of understanding about the power of the mind and intention. If you ever get the chance to do a 'firewalk' with the proper support and advice I would highly recommend it. I have heard since that the 'personal growth' guru, Anthony Robbins, leads firewalking sessions to assist people to access this inner knowing.

It was certainly an experience I will never forget!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I have a dear friend, Beth, who often takes herself away for a few days up into the forest, camping or staying with friends who have a little cabin she can stay in.

Taking time out for personal reflection and silence can nurture our souls in so many ways. I have applied to do a two week silent retreat next month at the beautiful Gaia House in south Devon. A glorious old house, with parklike gardens (covered in snow at the present moment) where people of all denominations can go for a silent retreat or workshop. I will let you know how I go!

My experience from refraining from conversation over an extended time and holding the silence is that my thoughts quieten down considerably, clarity is more present and a sense of calm envelopes my whole being. I often will have an afternoon or day of silence, but two whole weeks deepens this process.

In many spiritual traditions, solitude and time out are important rituals for developing insight and stillness.

It was during my friend, Beth's last visit to the forest, after a particularly challenging time, that she wrote this poem about divine union. It touched me that she found such divine love in the time of her difficulty and wanted to share it with you. (with her full permission)

light rain on gentle forest

love pours infinite

from every leaf and cell

pain purges my soul

as my toes play

making perfect love

with the sodden earth pulsating through my toes

-calling my spirit from the deep.

Leaves obscured by so many layers

of white, light mist-

my being penetrated

by each breath the forest breathes-

seeking union, seeking naked, fucund, sensual love,

smiling as my heart fills with so much

unexpected joy.

Bathed, baptized with heavens’ blessing-

deep content

a glimpse of love.

Beth Wrigley

 

Tuesday, January 12, 2010
MEMORIES FROM WEDDINGS PAST

Sally had brought her wedding forward six months so that her mother, who was not well, could be present. Sadly, her mother died three weeks before the new wedding date. They decided to go ahead with the wedding as everything was set to go and the mum requested it be so.

The last time everyone had been together was at Sally’s mum’s funeral and as is to be expected it was fresh in everyone’s minds. We took a moment at the beginning of the ceremony to acknowledge the sadness that her mum couldn’t be present, and acknowledged that her presence of love and joy would be with us as we celebrated their marriage. I had talked to Sally and Peter beforehand about really focusing on her mum's smile and warmth as we remembered her so that the love would be stronger than the sadness. They were able to do this on the day and this focus was supported by the wording of the ceremony.

Sally let her family and friends know that this remembrance was going to be a part of the ceremony so it didn’t surprise or shock anyone.  There were lots of tears and yes, it was difficult however it brought comfort as well as joy, to bring an awareness of her spirit and love into the ceremony.

Saturday, January 09, 2010 I sat waiting in the hustle and bustle of Heathrow airport today waiting for our prebooked taxi to arrive. Sitting next to me was Mrs Patel, in a wheelchair waiting for her daughter and son in law to come and pick her up. She was old and frail, dressed in a beautiful Indian sari and then her eyes lit up as she saw her grandchild come running towards here. They all leaned forward and kissed her and then helped the old lady out of the chair. When she was standing, all three bent forward, one at a time, while the others were talking to her, kissed their hands and touched her feet and then their own heads as a sign of respect for their mother and grandmother. The little granddaughter, who was about 3, did it a few times, smiling.

Just searching the internet about this old custom revealed many different opinions about this Indian tradition, which from the sites I read, said it was originally a sign of submissiveness in a feudal system but over time has, for the most part, become a sign of reverance and respect towards elders.

In this case with Mrs Patel the sign was given with great joy and it feeled me with delight and interest.

Friday, January 08, 2010 In days past families would gather and have singalongs round the piano. As a young family we would always sing in the car - songs that would make us laugh, songs that could be sung in rounds... I guess it was one way to stop four young girls from fighting in the back of the old Holden station wagon! But it was so much more than that... it was having fun together. I remember it well with fond memories - I must ask my mum if it ever drove her crazy... round after round ...

Fortunately both Roger and I have both been members of different local acapella choirs at times singing a variety of songs from all cultural backgrounds. More recently over the last few years we were part of a beautiful group that met every Sunday to sing. It was meditative and uplifting and provided a rich sense of community.

Now, with just the two of us, we take fifteen minutes to sing together before retiring for the night. Creating this time together has been delightful.

Join a community choir, turn up the karoake, find a friend and form a duo... and let's sing from our hearts!

Friday, January 08, 2010
Staying here at Ginnie and Willie's home in the beautiful Okanagan Valley, Canada, has given us the opportunity to meet with their three children. This family has such big open hearts and their daughter, Leah, is no exception. She is bright, vivacious and a gorgeous smile.

Leah literally jumped at the opportunity to share some yoga with me one night and even enthusiastically got up early the next morning to share some more before they made the big 10 hour drive home to Edmonton.

Watching Leah's enthusiasm and willingness to try something new and enjoying it was infectious. Dru Yoga has been such a great gift in my life bringing physical benefits but also emotional balance and inspirational insights.

I offered to mentor Leah as she hinted at needing support to make yoga a regular practice in her life. She was excited by this.

Mentoring our young people is so uplifting and so needed. I can only encourage you to do the same. To reach out and let a young person know they are loved and cared for. To offer support with a project, to share a walk with them or lunch. To take an interest in their work or hobby.

I have already had an email from Leah this morning, now that she has arrived safely home and our journey together has begun. 

Some tips to get started:

Ask the person wishing to be supported to consider their goals (big and little) that they would like to be supported with. Encourage them to write from their heart. (ensure them that all discussions and emails will be confidential and honour that) and also ask them to let you know how you can best support you. (a regular email contact, offer more direction, set time frames, comment on goals...etc).

Also recommend that they consider doing a vision board... get some old magazines and cut out pictures that reflect their vision/dream or draw or paint pictures if they are really creative, write down key words and put the goals out there on the vision board. Encourage them to be bold, be courageous, be inspired.... and I always suggest that some of the focus is on their inner world of contentment, peace, etc as this will sustain them at a deeper level.

And since we had shared some yoga together I reminded Leah and I am happy to remind you... to put on some good dance music every day and wiggle your hips, shake your body, stretch tall, and do the spinal twist. Give thanks for this moment and for all the joys in your life. You may wish to start a gratitude book - write down everyday five things you are grateful in your life... watch your list grow and your gratitude grow, and the peace that comes... invite peace in often.