food rituals
We have the opportunity to enrich our lives through a very ordinary yet powerful ritual – mealtimes. At most weddings and other celebrations we share food which enhances our experience of being together. If mealtimes at home are given a little bit of attention they have the extraordinary potential to become a rich and long term investment in the quality of our home life, deepening our love for friends and family.
Breakfast, brunch, lunch and dinner, afternoon tea, morning cuppa, barbeques, pizza nights, pot luck, marshmallows over the fire, potatoes in the fire, pancakes on Sunday, birthdays, picnic’s, mum’s special casserole, Lyndal’s orange cake, toast and hot butter, freshly baked loaf, home made yoghurt …at home, on the beach, in the park, by the river, at aunty Jane’s, in the kitchen, on the deck, in the dining room…on your own, the three of us, a crowd of thousands … dress up or come as you are…
We are truly blessed that sharing food is a part of our daily cycle. Mealtimes are ordinary events during our everyday lives. Yet a family meal is much more than a physical feed. The atmosphere and rituals at meal time can be remembered for a lifetime.
A shared meal can…
- Keep us connected to the people who matter most in our lives
- Give us a sense of belonging
- Pass on family values and beliefs
- Honour our family roots
- Make us laugh and relax
- Give us a sense of rhythm, continuity and stability
- Provide a safe and sacred space
- Bring us together to cooperate in preparing the food, serving and cleaning
- Teach us about looking after ourselves and each other
- Embrace a friend or neighbour who may need company
- Be a lot of fun
We can always make lots of excuses for not sitting down to a meal together…
- We just don’t get on…
- We’re never home together…
- I live on my own…
- I can’t cook…
- We don’t have kids…
- I end up doing all the preparation and cleaning…
- My favourite TV show is on…
- We have sport training…
A simple yet powerful ritual of sharing meals may call for a change of lifestyle or approach… and it’s worth it, no matter our age or stage of life. If we make sharing a meal a priority we welcome into our lives a sense of being loved, belonging and sharing a connection that goes deeper than words can say.
The meals don’t have to be gourmet or perfect, they don’t have to be done a certain way… but it has to be a priority to spend time together, listen to each others stories, give a prayer of thanks or express gratitude and share mealtime tasks fostering cooperation.
- Allow plenty of time for a meal
- Turn off the TV, computer and phone
- Get everyone involved in the menu, preparation, setting the table and cleaning.
- Be creative and have dinner outside occasionally or change the table setting or menu
- Share a prayer or blessing of thanksgiving. It doesn’t have to be difficult. Holding hands and saying ‘blessings on the food’ is a start. Just taking a moment to stop and give thanks brings peoples awareness to the blessing of having food.
- Listen to each other ensuring that everyone has a turn to speak
- Affirm qualities and behaviours – avoid criticism or improving behaviours at this time
- Choose a topic to discuss – What’s one thing you are grateful for? What’s the best thing that happened today?
- Choose times for meals where most family members can come
- Invite rather than demand attendance!
- Be patient and persevere with creating ‘family meal times’
- If you are living alone organise with other friends to share meals regularly
- Organise ‘progressive dinner parties’ in the street or group you belong to
- Hold regular morning teas
- Organise pot luck dinners where everyone brings a plate and that takes the stress out of always preparing food for gatherings at your home
Take the time to make mealtimes, ordinary yet powerful and enjoy!
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