honouring a teenager

There is so much happening in the life of a teenager. Their hormones and bodies are changing rapidly, priorities are shifting, relationships are developing; and they have a growing awareness of their sense of self and others.Teenagers are exploring their boundaries and seeking to discover who they are and what their purpose is in life.

Phew! What a time. What a challenge! And yet with support and people who care around them it can be a wonderful time of growing, learning and transformation.

It is important for teenagers to know that someone cares about what they are doing, that someone is interested in them, and that we love them. It is an awkward time for many of them, and sometimes for their parents. This recipe is made up of a good dose of honouring them, celebrating what they bring into our lives, and mixing in some snippets of wisdom as well.

I did this for all of my children at one of their key birthdays: 13, 16, 18 and 21.

The Book of Gold

You will need:
 
Time - you need a few weeks for the planning and putting together.

• An art book
• One or two glue sticks
• Scissors
• Scrap booking type materials (old cards, magazines, postcards, photos, fabric swatches...)
• Patience

An invitation that reads along these lines: (this one was for my son)

"Chahaya's 16th birthday is drawing near.... 18th January!
As is our family tradition, a gift is in the making to celebrate and honour Chahaya's presence - his divine wisdom and beauty (or handsomeness may be the politically correct term according to Chahaya) and his great way of being in this world.

I am collecting and collating a book of treasures. I would love for you to contribute.

It may be something you create or something you have found. A poem, photograph, short story, a drawing, a painting, a letter, a postcard or an email. It can be simple or fancy. It may be a personal message to him, an inspirational quote, a blessing for his life, or just a funny quirky note or drawing!  Remember this is TOP SECRET from the boy himself.

Send in one or more things ... whatever strikes your fancy. Please make sure that whatever you send is one sided as it will be pasted onto an A4 sheet. Please send to me by 10th January. I know that is only three weeks away! Would you either email it to ……… or post it to ……..

Your gift will be greatly appreciated – this will grow into a great book of treasures. I really value your friendship and would love you to share your wisdom and support as part of this tradition. I invite you to please be a part of his birthday gift. If you have any questions or are not sure what to do please email me or call.
Thank you!!"

Set a deadline for contributions … not the night before. It takes a few days to bring it all together!

Basically it is a cut, paste and decorate affair once all the contributions are in. You may have to decorate some people’s contributions (especially if they are plain email messages) by printing them out in a nice font and embellishing with your own postcards/pictures/drawings to make them more beautiful. You can also fill in a few sections with lovely quotes that you source. You can create a little pocket on a page, if necessary, where CD’s can get slipped in, or DVD’s with slide shows… anything is possible.

We always made sure the contributors name was on the page (otherwise it can be easy to forget who sent it). It is lots of fun putting it together especially if you have a friend help you; and it is a delightful surprise as you receive the things that people send in.

My kids still look at their book with great joy. There are photos of them growing up, timelines of highlights, love letters from their siblings, aunties, grandparents… There are funny cartoons and things to make you laugh. Their grandfather wrote a funny poem for each of them.

For one of my birthdays my kids did a surprise book for me… I love looking through it and it still brings tears to my eyes.

Most of all have fun - it’s a feast for everyone to enjoy.

Variations: Great for 40th, 50th or any 'th' birthday celebration!
Cheers,

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Having conducted over 1,000 ceremonies, Wendy put her experiences into writing and is the author of 7 popular "do it yourself" books.

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