Friday, August 09, 2013
Sit down and work out your vision for your wedding and marriage... together. What is it you both imagine will happen on your wedding day? What do you want? What don't you want? Alongside the shared dreams there may also be differences and getting this sorted early means you are on the same page as you move forward with the planning. Be a strong and confident team!
Book all your service providers early so you can have the celebrant, photographer, venue, hairdresser etc of your choice. Having a great team of wedding professionals will give you a boost of confidence knowing they will look after you and do their job well without you having to 'look after them'.
Go for what you want, rather than what your mother or sister want. Sounds easy for some brides however for some this may require counselling support if necessary. I am serious, weddings can sometimes bring out the worst in families with their expectations or past troubles. Find someone who will help you to unpack some of those family knots and support you with skills to communicate clearly with difficult family and friends.
Remind yourself often especially when things seem challenging why you are having a wedding... to marry your beloved, to bring together family and friends, to celebrate and have fun.
Ensure you look after your health. Attend yoga or mindfulness meditation classes, both known strategies for increasing wellbeing, calmness and confidence.
Have a few mini get togethers with your girlfriends in the planning stages and share the progress, the seeming obstacles and the achievements. As Aristotle's quote says, the sum of the parts is always greater than the whole!
Follow a checklist both for the big picture and for the wedding day knowing you will have covered everything. Here are two great checklists - the big overview and for the wedding day itself.
If you are feeling nervous consider attending relaxation or mindfulness meditation classes which really help us to become present with the moment rather than listening to the thoughts we tell ourselves, which can make us feel incredibly anxious and nervous.
If you are worried about speaking publicly discuss with your celebrant ways that they can support you. Having a little bit of humour in the introduction of the ceremony can help you to laugh which helps to relax the 'flight and fight' response which is activated when we are stressed.
Repeat your vows after the celebrant so you can just focus on your partner as you say the most important words of the day.
Choose a really confident and relaxed celebrant, some of their strength will pass to you both on the day, which will help you to relax enormously.